Week 5 : Post 3

“Hurt” – NIN, covered by Jhonny Cash

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
my sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end
You could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way...

Originally written and performed by Trent Reznor, lead singer of NIN, "Hurt" was later covered by Johnny Cash. Reznor wrote the song in regards to his drug addiction and the toll it took on his life. Cash, who also fought a long battle with drug addiction, covered the song as a sign of respect for modern day rock musicians and the way music had changed over time.

Personally, the cover version by Johnny Cash seeps emotions out of every line, each word is powerful, each line from Cash's mouth tells a year’s worth of stories. You can feel his pain, his remorse, his regrets and sorrows. Sure, Reznor knows the pain and suffering of drugs too... hell, he wrote the song. There is no denying the presence felt in Johnny's version. (This coming from a NIN fan that dislikes country)

This is one of a few blogs of mine relating to drug addiction. As I have said before, I have been victimized by the wrath of drug addiction but seem to find answers to my questions in the stories of the victimizers as opposed to other victims. Hearing the stories, emotions and thoughts of other addicts really helps. I have so many unanswered questions: Why can’t you stop? Do you care that you hurt me? Do you care that you hurt yourself? Will you stop when you hit rock bottom? What is rock bottom? How did you allow this to happen? I find some closure in the answers of others when I can’t get answers from the one I want.

The two lines that hit me the hardest are:
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

This drives me crazy because I do not understand how one allows addiction to continue once you acknowledge you are hurting someone and will continue to hurt someone. To say “I will make you hurt” instead of “I will try not to hurt you”, is a very cold thing. I guess this is a type of acceptance of behavior, and therefore an acceptance of an addiction. Regardless, this song helps me empathize with people affected by addiction rather then hold a grudge.

Trent Reznor


Johnny Cash