Week 6 : Post 2

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view
But it's not sane, It's not sane
I just want some one to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made
And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
escape......escape......escape......
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
ya don't like my point of view
ya think I'm insane
Its not sane......it's not

Despite the upbeat tempo of this song, it is quite the plea for help. Lead singer Shannon Hoon, who suffered from a heavy drug addiction, co-wrote this song with Glen Graham, whose girlfriend was suffering with severe depression and agoraphobia. The song is a combination of isolation and depression associated with drug addiction and agoraphobia. The line “and I don’t understand why I sleep all day” is a clear indication of a symptom of depression. The strongest angle of this song is about not wanting to be alone. This is shown through several lines such as “I just want someone to say to me / I’ll always be there when you wake” and “and all I can do / is just pour some tea for two”. It displays someone who is constantly reaching for others and who is not at peace with themselves.

Unfortunately Hoon died at age 28 as a victim of his own drug vices. Graham started a new band with Stuart Cole (formerly of The Squirrel Nut Zippers). Check them out here.

Week 6 : Post 1

They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going without ever
Knowing the way?

They drank up the wine
And they got to talking
They now had more important things to say
And when the car broke down they started walking
Where were they going without ever
Knowing the way?

[Chorus:]
Anyone can see the road that they walk on
Is paved in gold
And it's always summer
They'll never get cold
They'll never get hungry
They'll never get old and grey
You can see their shadows wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happier there today, today

Their children woke up
And they couldn't find them
They left before the sun came up that day
They just drove off and left it all behind 'em
But where were they going without ever
Knowing the way?

I grew up in the nineties, making this song a classic for me. The whimsical feeling up this song has always reminded me of escaping the fast pace of life and just getting away. The images in my head were of a group of fun loving kids driving down a windy road, hair blowing in wind. It represented relaxation and a reminder to bring yourself back down to earth every once in a while. So imagine my shock when I discovered this song is based on the true story of an elderly couple who died. What a mood buster. But looking further into this story, my feelings were restored. Fastball bassist Tony Scalzo came up with the concept for this song after reading several news articles on the elderly couple. He says, “It’s a romanticized take on what happened.” He “pictured them taking off to have fun, like they did when they first met.”

So what did happen?

Lela and Raymond Howard were driving from Salado, Texas to a nearby family reunion. Lela suffered from Alzheimer’s disease and Raymond was recovering from recent brain surgery. The Austin American-Statesman newspaper published several follow ups during the hunt for this couple. However, Scalzo did not find out the ending to this story –the couple was found a three day drive away from their destination, at the bottom of a canyon in Arkansas – until AFTER the song was written and published.
Although the true story puts a slight dent on the dream of this song, it can still be enjoyed with or without that knowledge. I love Scalzo’s explanation of why he wrote this song. I am sure he gave the family members a little closure with turning such a traumatic event into beautiful art.

Week 5 : Post 3

“Hurt” – NIN, covered by Jhonny Cash

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
my sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end
You could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way...

Originally written and performed by Trent Reznor, lead singer of NIN, "Hurt" was later covered by Johnny Cash. Reznor wrote the song in regards to his drug addiction and the toll it took on his life. Cash, who also fought a long battle with drug addiction, covered the song as a sign of respect for modern day rock musicians and the way music had changed over time.

Personally, the cover version by Johnny Cash seeps emotions out of every line, each word is powerful, each line from Cash's mouth tells a year’s worth of stories. You can feel his pain, his remorse, his regrets and sorrows. Sure, Reznor knows the pain and suffering of drugs too... hell, he wrote the song. There is no denying the presence felt in Johnny's version. (This coming from a NIN fan that dislikes country)

This is one of a few blogs of mine relating to drug addiction. As I have said before, I have been victimized by the wrath of drug addiction but seem to find answers to my questions in the stories of the victimizers as opposed to other victims. Hearing the stories, emotions and thoughts of other addicts really helps. I have so many unanswered questions: Why can’t you stop? Do you care that you hurt me? Do you care that you hurt yourself? Will you stop when you hit rock bottom? What is rock bottom? How did you allow this to happen? I find some closure in the answers of others when I can’t get answers from the one I want.

The two lines that hit me the hardest are:
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

This drives me crazy because I do not understand how one allows addiction to continue once you acknowledge you are hurting someone and will continue to hurt someone. To say “I will make you hurt” instead of “I will try not to hurt you”, is a very cold thing. I guess this is a type of acceptance of behavior, and therefore an acceptance of an addiction. Regardless, this song helps me empathize with people affected by addiction rather then hold a grudge.

Trent Reznor


Johnny Cash

Week 5 : Post 2

Disclaimer: Audio to video is not work appropriate: I suggest you mute your audio if neccasary.

Commonly known as break dancing, alternately known as breaking or b-boying was introduced in New York City amongst the inner city youth. This dance style has been portrayed in television commercials, print media and even the heart of recent dance focused movies. Its popularity has grown so widely, you can learn breaking at your local hip hop dance studio and from home with the many DVD tutorials sold.

The b-boys and b-boys push their body to the limits and throw their heart into their dance. I have always wanted to learn to break; I remember watching in amazement as a young child. However, I lack the physical strength, endurance and confidence that b-boys and b-boys exude.

The foundation of breaking consists of four not-so-basic moves. Steps preformed in a standing position are referred to as a toprock. A toprock is usually the first move in a set and used as a transition between movements. Downrock is footwork performed on the floor, such as in the 6-step. The moves that require energy and bodily power to perform are named power moves. A freeze or suicide is the pause or ending of a b-boy set. A stylish pose, the freeze requires upper body strength and showcases the poise and control of a b-boy or b-girl. Contrary, a suicide is done to signal the end of a set and is usually done in a move that emphasizes a theatrical “giving up” or “loss of control” of the breaker.

Regardless of the dance genre, what class of people pioneered it or what cultures it ventures off into, dance has always and will always be a primary form of expression. From the Waltz to Breaking, dance will never fail to express and deliver emotion.

Week 5 : Post 1

“The waltz never quite goes out of fashion;
it is always just around the corner;
every now and then it returns with a bang . . .
It is sneaking, insidious, disarming, lovely. . . .
The waltz, in fact, is magnificently improper..
the art of tone turned lubricious. . . "
- In 1919, H.L.Menken

“If there exists a form of music that is a direct expression of sensuality, it is the Viennese Waltz...." - Austrian music scholar, Max Graf

Like all art forms, dance is a form of communication. Instead of voice, paintings or sculptures, dancers use their hands, body and feet to express their emotions and ideas. Dancers can express an array of emotion as wide as any canvas. One of the most agreeably beautiful dances in history is the Waltz. Loosely based on a country dance called the Ländler, the Waltz (from Italian ‘volver’ – to turn) consists of graceful and polished gliding. Referencing life in Vienna, Don Curzio wrote, " The people were dancing mad [...] The ladies of Vienna are particularly celebrated for their grace and movements of waltzing of which they never tire."

Although the Waltz is often presented in very prestige settings, it first appealed to the rural cultures and was considered provincial. The close contact and passionate twirling were unknown and unsavory to the upper class. The Waltz has actually been banned in some countries to include Swabia and Switzerland. Up until 1825, the Oxford English Dictionary defined the Waltz as "riotous and indecent". In 1816, Prince Regent included the Waltz in a ball set in London. An editorial in the Times later stated:

"We remarked with pain that the indecent foreign dance called the Waltz was introduced (we believe for the first time) at the English court on Friday last ... it is quite sufficient to cast one's eyes on the voluptuous intertwining of the limbs and close compressure on the bodies in their dance, to see that it is indeed far removed from the modest reserve which has hitherto been considered distinctive of English females. So long as this obscene display was confined to prostitutes and adulteresses, we did not think it deserving of notice; but now that it is attempted to be forced on the respectable classes of society by the civil examples of their superiors, we feel it a duty to warn every parent against exposing his daughter to so fatal a contagion."

The Waltz finally attained a level of legitimacy, while maintaining its basic appeal. It is an irresistible and durable fashion in time.